How does Our Garden Grow...

Well at the moment, by itself! It's a fairly tough kinda garden - I figure if it can't survive kids, a nutter Jemma-Dog, and only recaptured water, then it doesn't have a place in our garden! lol
I figured out that just from a stainless steel mixing bowl in the sink, catching water from washing hands, rinsing plates, washing veges etc - I can water the entire back garden.

The vege garden is on hold at the moment, apart from the odd plant here and there. I am so busting to get into it I just need to take a breath, choose a place to start, and ... begin.
The plans I have for the garden are there, just aren't being put into action at the moment - and I know I'm not directing enough time towards them. I have all these ideas and plans in my head but nothing practical, really, done. So I figure if I plan it out, and alot 15mins each day (ala FLYlady) it will get there and truth be told, if I can FLY my way through the areas of the house I haven't finished yet, then I can start on the garden...
although why do I have to finish one first before starting the other, especially when the first is an ongoing 'never really finished' task..?

The main thing I really really want to get done, is Brenna's Garden, and to get the fruit trees in to establish over winter. Really the thing that's preventing it happening is (1) removing the materials that are there, and (2) treating the termites that have moved into the old timber there - it's either a couple of hundred to treat just that lot (which won't kill the nest, which kinda defeats the purpose because I don't want them moving on to the house), OR getting the baiting system done which I really want to do but just can't at the moment... that would be the best solution to protect the entire house and the yard...
anyway... so I have to put a plan in place to work on that. So that's that - phsycial labour needed to move the big stuff (which needs to be wrapped in plastic etc) and getting the termites sorted.
UPDATE: Thanks to R&K for this site link for a DIY installation termite monitoring system... THEN we can truly get right into prepping the ground etc... I so can't wait until we can put a cubby in, and plant the fruit trees - I would really like for it to be ready for Brenna's birthday this September... bulbs in, fruit trees in... I am very hopeful...

We have several plants that are gifts for Brenna's garden, here being cared for while I wait - the two roses Brenna's garden has been given, have flowered and flowered repeatedly, so I know they're healthy, the lime tree has new leaves and shoots every time I look and the Jasmine is out in the rain as I type... I just want to get it all IN... so I can work in it, and enjoy it, so Brenna's garden can finally BE...

The next thing in general is to get fruit trees in around the place to establish over winter - my plan is to plant along the back of the shed, and use the run-off water from the shed roof to water them specifically. Also the run-off from the cubby house roof directed to the fruit trees that will go in Brenna's garden.
So I know what I want to achieve... now I need to make the time, and direct it to happening..!
I was thinking that when Kindergarten starts for Zeke, maybe that could be one thing I can devote my time to while he's there... then once it's all going, we can ALL enjoy that space, Brenna's Garden...

xo

Zeke's Pirate Birthday Party...

Well... I've always wanted to 'do' a pirate party for one of my guys... thing is - no one has chosen one! So, well Zeke isn't quite at the age where he has much say in the 'theme' to his party, so I decided he would have a pirate party! I have to say I really enjoy organising and theming parties for the kids, especially seeing the looks on their faces with what you've created for them.
I managed by chance to find a pirate party outfit at the shop the other day (I don't buy dressups as a rule) for a reasonable price so got two shirts and one pants - the pants from the other set was missing, so got the second shirt half price. No worries, figured Brooke could wear the pirate pants (length), and the two boys could wear a shirt each - three outfits for the price of one and a half haha! However Brooke informed me she didn't want to be a pirate and instead wanted to wear the dress that Pop gave her... so she did. I'd really like to post a pic of Jake and Zeke in their costumes, as we took some good ones over at the park before we left, but I don't put the kids faces on the net so...
Michael went down and got the balloons - a treat this year to have helium ones - and Jake picked them out - especially the pirate one!

This is the cake I did for Zeke, based on the Debbie Brown books - although I wasn't really that happy with it, far less detail than I would have liked and several things missing... however... well the kids liked it so that's what matters. I did have some pirate candles but didn't end up using them.
There are a couple more pictures here.
We also had a 'Scurvy Prevention' table full of mostly fruit for the kids (kebabs made with paddlepop sticks etc etc).
I did a 'treasure hunt' ryhme (must be catchy from the GDUNH lol) and I dressed up too which hey, it's fun! Arrrrrrrrrrr!
You can find the treasure map here. I was also able to find serviettes, party hats and some stickers that weren't too 'old' for a three year old party - cute pirates if you like :)
& I have to include a pic of what Aunty R made for Zeke... wowee... the treasure chest, the gift and props and the ship, the Pirate Ship from a kit, balsa wood... I'm sitting here looking at it now and it's pretty darn good! I think she did an awesome job! Thanks too Aunty R and Nanna E for all your help and thoughtful creativeness!

And last but definately not least thankyou to everyone who was able to come, for a rather mellow but still fun party - the children playing, eating and us chatting, and sharing/celebrating Zeke's Third Birthday...

Adventures at...

...well, at Adventure World... Michael's work had booked the place for a private function so it was hugely less busy than normal, barely a wait in (most of) the lines. The Kids had a great time, I think, trying out most things they felt they were up to and one or two to challenge themselves. Here's Brooke on the one that her and Jake and Zeke went on - Zeke said 'that was cooool!' when he finished, so they all liked that one. After trying the roller-coaster Zeke thought he'd be right on the big one...
well let's just say it's lucky the operator could stop it mid ride and let Zeke and I (and Jake) off. Michael and Brooke continued on. Was a great place to wear my advocacy tee, as it got read many, many times! And yay for that! So disheartening to see so much single-use stuff about, and not just nappies...
Michael went on the Ranger and I have managed to in another pic, zoom right in on the photo editor on the computer, and crop so we can see him. It was a long way away so that's not too bad!
Big and busy places like that aren't my kinda thing BUT it was a pretty good value event to go to, something we otherwise wouldn't go to if general public admission and prices, and something different for the kids - they had a good time.

& Easter comes again...

Well it's that time of year again... For me more about Zeke's Birthday than anything as he was born on Easter, but of course definately about Easter for the kids!

So coming (more to come) are some photos of the projects that came home from class today - to the right is Jake's easter Basket the children each painted (the paper) and made including the fingerknitted 'handle', the Easter egg he dyed, the Easter Buns the class made and some eggs from kids who bought them to give out and share.
Here's the Bun that Jake picked from the class basket, for Zeke. (Zeke and I were 'Class One' students for a little while to help with the prep for the making and baking of the buns) So Zeke got to make one too.
To the right is the little bunny that Brooke 'gave' for Brenna from the things she received from Aunty R and Nanna E... from them also, Brenna's garden has a new plant, a Star Jasmine... I am looking forward to being able to plant it...

Easy Easter Crafts
Jake sewed this one in Kindergarten a few Easters ago
Simply felt, thread, whatever you want for an eye (can be felt too) and beak,
and leave an opening in the bottom of the 'egg' for the popstick, to which you attach the chicken.


So first you don't see him... then a little... then POP!

Easy Pom Pom Bunny
make your pom pom and just when it comes time to cut the loops and tie the middle, also 'tie in' the bunny ears as shown in the pic (an ear on each end of a longer piece of felt). Then when you're done, and you've cut the loops, choose which end is the 'head' end of the bunny and trim it smaller, so you get the front that's trimmed as the head and the bit that's not trimmed as the back and back end. This one is another playgroup one.
Should look something like this (but better!)

And here's the recipe we're using to make Easter Buns this weekend... I think... unless I use one of the recipes from the Nappycino thread!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hot Cross Buns
an easter activity from Fiona McVey

Pre-heat the oven to 210C and grease/line the baking trays.

• 4 cups plain flour (or 2 cups plain and 2 cups atta/spelt flour)
• 1 tsp salt
• 4 tsp dry yeast
• 1 1/2 cups milk
• 2/3 cup sultanas (or mixture of sultanas and currants)
• 60 grams butter
• 1/2 cup sugar or honey
• 1 egg
• 1/2 tsp mixed spice
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• baking paper, milk for glazing and extra flour for the table/board.
• For the cross you'll need 1/2 cup plain flour and water to mix

~*~ the Method ~*~

(Times are highlighted in blue)

1. Cream the yeast with 1tsp each of sugar and flour, add lukewarm milk and mix well. Cover and leave for 10-15mins, in a warm place, until the mixture is frothy.
2. Sift flour, salt, sugar and spices into a large bowl. Rub in the butter and add the beaten egg, sultanas, currants and yeast mixture.
3. Leave mixture to stand in warm place for 40mins
4. Punch douhg down and knead well
5. break the dough into 3 pieces, then cut each third into 5 pieces (15 total)
6. To make the pastry for the crosses, mix last two ingredients on the ingredients list together, divide and roll out to make crosses (long 'snakes' crossed over each other)

Bake 210C for 15-20 mins or until done.
Enjoy!

To not have long...

well how long do any of us really have, I suppose...
But learnt today that [name] has been 'given' months to live by the medical world.
So helping out where we can.
The unfairness of it is that had the prob been found when it should have been (repeatedly asking for tests and being denied) then today would be a lot different for [name].

Today is also my Grandad's birthday, who died before any of his Great-Grandchildren from Michael & I, were born. Thinking of Grandad today, and Nanna and my Mum and Family, remembering your Birthday Grandad...
xo

And from Jurien we return...

Pictures and sights, what we did and our favourites, from our weekend at Jurien... coming! Of course won't post phots of the kids, which is a bummer coz there's some great ones, but plenty of others to share too.

Had to put this picture in, one of my favourites... A starfish found at Sandy Bay, photo taken with starfish under the water.

So while we were away we got to go fishing each night (yay for bites on the line and actually catching some!) and almost each day. Swam. Animals we saw starfish, emus, fish, and a friendly seal who came to check out who these nobbs on the beach were (that'd be us) - which of course had three kids sitting on the beach all going 'orgh orgh orgh' being seals and talking back to it. Woulda confused me if I was a seal!
There was games of eye spy (by colour or by beginning letter). We bought the cards but didn't play. There was a 'float' swing out the front which got a lot of attention, plus some heavy machinery on the block next door when we arrived which pleased the boys. Lots of walking on the beach too...
Pretty much by the time we got back from fishing, cleaned up and ate, the kids were zonked and we weren't far behind them - that contented 'stuffed' lol - when you know you've done a good day's worth of activities and thoroughly deserve your sleep, and are lucky enough to have a full belly to boot!
Thankyou to Grandma and Grandad for making this weekend possible!

The unfairness of it all...

I can't let today go by without posting...
Last night, 11th March... my close friend lost her Dad
their family lost a Father, a Poppy, a Partner... so many people lost a great friend... It's just so unfair...
My heart and thoughts are with you guys - my hugs today and always, convey what my words cannot. We know he lives on in your heart and your memories... I also know that this doesn't feel like enough, when all you want its to have him back...

It was only seems like a few weeks ago, that I caught up with Uncle John when he was visiting over here, one time after we came back from fishing... the same Uncle John he's always been since we were kids. Our Dads are meant to live forever, right?
Not too many months ago, [she] was here for me - the roles of devasted grieving friend, and supportive friend, were reversed... I hope I can be there enough for her the way she was and still is, for me.

We share the 11th of March... in a strange kind of way... your Dad, and Brenna's EDD.
We share the date, but I know it's you who's lost their Dad... I'm so truly sorry...
Love to you, here any time, you know that, any time at all...
xo

Brenna's EDD is here...

~ Brenna Emmile Ann ~
much loved...

Well, as they tend to do, days come and go, time rolls on regardless of anyone else's desire or intent. Children need taking to school and swimming lessons, lunches made, dishes washed... as I type, Zeke is with much fun, flinging Brooke's bather top up to all the high places he can, just to see if it will come down or not - see life is as it is... but apart from that, apart from the everyday practicalities, (and that I know I'll edit/change and add to this a billion times) Why doesn't today feel ... different like I thought it would/should? It's my Daughter's EDD... it should feel different, shouldn't it? Does it feel different? What is 'different'?

Well I know why it doesn't feel 'different' like one might imagine, I mean, it does, just not how I thought it would. It's because
I miss her today just as much as I do on any other day - everyday. I will always miss her every day, regardless, no matter what else the day holds.

Maybe it feels like it should feel more significant... maybe because today, and her Birthday, and maybe Mother's Day, are days where the rest of the world remembers her more, acknowledges... but even that's not so because so many people remember her and think of her, on any other given day... and for that you all, each and every one of you - I thank you, from all of us. If there's any luck at all to be had, it's that other people as well as us, love and remember Brenna too.

Maybe it's also partly because today is a day that never happened, really.
Brenna's actual brithday, the day I birthed her, will be something different to every other day - because I will know that one year ago to that date, the 21st September...I was birthing my Little Daughter, (see now the tears come) who I so desparately wanted...
but it's every day I think of this, or think of her in some other way, if not in thought at that moment, then always in my heart, and never far from my thoughts..

I watched today at swimming, a Dad tenderly cradle his tiny baby as he took her into the water, the excited and obviously (and rightfully) very proud Mum hovering with camera both video and digital, grinning from ear to ear, the dad visually taking in every inch of his precious baby...
and I know that today, in the perfect world, I should be holding, or close to holding, Brenna, alive, warm, with that delightful fuzzy newborn smell. She should be meeting her Dad, her brothers and big sister... her grandparents, her uncle, her Aunty... she should be here ready to meet everyone...
For Brooke and Jake and Zeke's actual birth date, was no more than two days either side of my EDD... but I'm not, I'm not holding her, or on the verge of birthing her now, in March. But I'm not. I think I've surrendered to that - I can't fight it - there's no real point is there.
Obviously patterns and history are interrupted, for Brenna was born several months too early. I often think, just a few more weeks, a few more weeks and even prem she would have had a chance, maybe. Anyway, what's new - maybes, what if's and all the rest.

I know I'm a little more down the track these days than I was, totally by choie of whatever it is that makes these things roll along. I suppose a way to say it is my grief has grown to 'mature' (?) a little... how bizarre. The ache will never go, will always be there, I'm just better at living with it, I think... most of the time.
I can hold someone else's baby, see someone else's belly or newborn, admire little tiny clothes, and.. do that separate now (most of the time) - holding someone elses' child is that 'top layer of card' I talked about before (entry 13th Nov 2007), the underneath layer of card is always there, just kind enough to allow the top layer to function in daily life, most of the time. That's the only way I can explain it - you never get 'over' it, you just grow your top layer back again, and people don't 'see' the underneath layer as much - but it's still there. Always.

Maybe reaching this point has been what's made is possible for me to have an instinctive response now, to my 'other' question - but that's another post saved in the drafts, for another day.

I guess days are what you make of them, and even today in the back of my mind doing everyday things, I know it's Brenna's 'EDD'. In the weeks and days leading up to today, and the days that come tomorrow and after, I'll know.
And ok, so today does feel different - despite my thinking as I drove home this afternoon, now that I'm typing and wiping away the tears, somehow today must be different...
And I wonder, as I've always done, endlessly, what I could have done, what the world/fate/the universe could have done, to have LET you be here with me, born, full term, alive... today.
And why.

Love and Miss you my Baby Girl, my Brenna - like nothing else on this earth I miss you.
Tears, sobs and hugs and heartfelt love...
please, if you can, come visit me tonight while I dream...
just a glimpse even
just for a little while...
xo Mummy

My Sweetest Zeke...

One of the best ways to have Zeke sleep earlier in the day, so as not to fall asleep in random places later on, then go on to an extremely late bed time, is for me to lay down (on the lounge otherwise it's too obvious haha!) next to him, or in the same room at least. I set the timer (for school pickup) and we start with a book or the marbles game together.
Anyway so today it went like this:
[seeing me lay down on the lounge]
Zeke: Mummy, don't have a rest!
Me: Oh but matey my eyes are a bit sore (and they were), just going to rest them.
Zeke: Your eyes are sore?
Me: yes
[pause]
Zeke: Want me to kiss them better Mum?
Me: awww thanks Zeke.
[Zeke comes over and gently oh my, so gently places a tiny tiny kiss, one on each eyelid, all the while with one hand on the side of my chin.]
Me: oh thanks Matey
Zeke: You're welcome Mummy!
Ah such a sweetie. The kid who can swing off the monkey bars, leap from the top of the steps and wrestle with his brother and yell at the top of his lungs, can be so tenderly gentle with a slater, and his Mummy... too good Little Big Man...

xo