Thursday 31st January 2008 2.45pm
Well... as the title suggests, where to this year?
I found it really really hard to come up with anything, for quite a while, and the few ideas I did have, for one reason or another were written off the list... putting me back to square one... afterall, today I should be 34 weeks and 2 days pregnant, right?
I've decided to give myself until March (this year lol), Brenna's due month, to get 'things' into some sort of order - that is - getting the house sorted, dentist appts concluded, sorting out this stupid colposcopy thing and figuring out what's going on with my body in that regard as well as possibly being a little closer to my own decision as to 'would I like to conceive again'.
It's been a big blank nothing space there where there should be an instinctual answer, for a long time... I think the edges are starting to unblur a little bit...
now, note that's 'would I like to conceive again' not, will we conceive again. In some ways I just want to actually reach a decision for myself, and then deal with 'where to from here' afterwards, and in other ways it seems even if I come to a decision, there are other factors outside of just my thoughts, and wishings, that make my decision pretty much irrelevant anyway.
So I want to approach March in some ways still as if I was being 'ready' for Brenna's Birth... but really, being 'ready' for the making a decision as to where to next, perhaps..?
Among those plans is to at least get the fruit trees in out the front when the weather cools down, so they can have half a chance to establish themselves before the next summer, and so that by the time we are able to do the front fully, the trees will be already thinkging about fruiting - yay! So many plans, projects and thoughts running round...